yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize