you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Randomize
