so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Randomize
