the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
