Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
