You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
