The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
can u get pink eye on your cock?
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
