to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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