after a month anything with tits is on the radar
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I am never drinking with the goths again.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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