Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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