tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Randomize
