so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
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