Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Randomize
