There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
