For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
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