There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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