p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
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Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
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Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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