i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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