My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
And then my night got REAL pukey
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Randomize
