He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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