dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
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