I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
