Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
