Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
