I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize