We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Randomize
