you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Are we still banned from the library?
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
