That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Randomize
