i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Randomize
