ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
