Me too!
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
