I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
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