Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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