Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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