I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
And then he peed in my hair
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