I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
