i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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