Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
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