Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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