Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
too bad you live with your parents still
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
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