I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Randomize
