I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
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