Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Randomize
