She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
