well I can't set my house on fire every night
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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