oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
