My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Randomize