They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
