why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
