Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
