Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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