tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
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