The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
why is half of my head shaved?
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