Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
