Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize