All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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