I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
