i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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