He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
